"Cuddles. Which is a great name for reasons that are threefold." As he had painstakingly explained back then. His eyes were blurry from exhaustion, but the pupils followed Remus's fingertip easily enough.
He knew his guard should be up. However, it did feel good to be im a familiar presence, even knowing that it might get twisted into something awful at any point. As close as he was to the darkest pit of despair right now, even the smallest flicker of something that felt good resonated.
Remus's presence brought more warmth than that spell he had cast that illuminated the cell. "That bird with you looks rough, mate, don't tell me you're seeing her."
It was a tease, accompanied with a hint of a glint in his tired eyes. Humour brought him more strength than hope, he had none of that. "You can do better than that."
At Sirius's unhesitating answer, something in Remus's chest relaxed; he lowered his hand, then let out a long breath that he had not been aware of holding. Yes, that was precisely what he had said back then, when they were all new students at Hogwarts: the Squid's name is Cuddles, for threefold reasons. The mathematical reason, the zoological reason, and the emotional reason - he'd explained each at length. None of it had made much sense then, and it didn't make any more sense now. But that wasn't the point: the point was that no Death Eater would know about that long-ago interaction between four eleven-year-old boys.
Well, now he was satisfied that Sirius was neither suffering from a brain injury nor acting under the influence of the Imperius Curse. He was intact and unharmed - well, unless you counted the fact that he was here, in a Death Eater's dungeon, in the process of being tortured for information.
"You haven't checked whether I am who you think I am," he pointed out, ignoring Sirius's suggestive comments about his companion for the moment. "Go on, ask me a personal question."
Not that he was about to wait for Sirius to be certain of his identity before invading his personal space. Kneeling down on the cold stone floor before his friend, he reached out to grab hold of one manacled wrist.
"Let me feel your pulse," he said. "What hurts the most right now?"
"I know you are who I think you are, you're very recognisable," Sirius muttered, figuring that he probably couldn't ask Remus to simply show his patronus. "What happened with the chocolates I used to get from the girls for Valentine's at school?"
There, that was personal enough. Insider knowledge and the kind of memory that felt bittersweet. But then, there was no memory left these days that didn't have bitterness attached to him.
His eyes followed Remus's actions as he took his pulse, lips quirking up into a smile. Such a practical and caring thing to do. Such a Remus thing to do, in other words. He really had missed him. "I don't know. Everything hurts. I know you know the feeling."
He had witnessed his transformations a few times, after all. "I'm not going to break, Moony. They aren't-- It won't happen. So it's fine. It will be over one day."
"The chocolates that you used to get from the girls for Valentine's were routinely left on the floor of our room, as I recall," Remus answered, his gaze lowered and his brows knit in an expression of deep concentration as he drew the manacle up Sirius's arm and out of the way. "Carelessly abandoned at random, resulting in unsightly clutter and putting us all at risk of tripping and doing ourselves a terrible mischief."
Only then did his eyes flick back up, glancing briefly at Sirius's face before focusing back down on his wrist. Despite the gravity of the situation, a hint of a smile could be seen in the way the corners of his eyes crinkled.
"Whereupon," he concluded, "I selflessly took on the duty of cleaning up the mess by removing the chocolates to a place of safety, where they could put no one in danger..."
As he spoke, the pad of his thumb was gently massaging into the underside of Sirius's wrist, searching until it found a vein. His pronouncement trailed off as he took Sirius's pulse: for a solid thirty seconds he knelt still and silent, eyes unfocused, counting the number of beats. When he let Sirius's wrist go, placing it gently back on the ground, his expression still registered concern.
"I know you won't break," he said, now looking into the exhausted face before him again. "But your body will, sooner or later."
He shook his right arm, as if trying to regain the feeling in a limb that had fallen asleep; his wand slid smoothly down from inside his sleeve until it was resting in his hand.
"Right. Can you sit up a bit straighter for me? Rest your back against the wall. We should have enough time for me to clean up some of these bigger injuries, at least. Then, let's think about to get you out of here."
As Remus recounts what happened to those chocolates, Sirius's eyes close for just a few moments. It's almost as if he can feel himself be transported back, to a time when there had been little to worry about, when he had just been entertained by Remus taking it upon himself to eat his chocolates and sell it as a selfless deed. Especially when Remus would then bitterly complain about feeling sick when he'd eaten too much.
His eyes opened when Remus took a hold of his wrist and there was an uncertain frown. He wet his cracked lips and cleared his throat, doing what he could to force his tired mind to keep up with what was happening.
Sitting as straight as he managed, he looked up at Remus. "Careful, Moony. They know who you are. Who we are. They're not gonna... I don't want you in any more danger than you are already."
Was that selfish? It definitely was. "I can take what they do to me." He trailed off there, the implication clear. He didn't want to have to take them doing anything to Remus.
It was difficult to watch the way Sirius moved here in this dark, lonely cell; it was painful to understand that he had been reduced to moving like this, stiff, slow and uncoordinated, for a long time before this moment. How long had he been stuck here, in pain and without any hope of rescue, knowing that the only way this would ever end was with his death? Sirius was a strong-willed person, Remus knew that better than most people: even so, the effort of will it must have taken for him just to survive to this point was staggering.
It occurred to him somewhere in the back of his mind that Dumbledore - or maybe several members of the Order - must have known what was happening to Sirius. And they hadn't told him. They'd had the ability to get in touch with him, even among the werewolves - he's been summoned by secret Order contact more than once in the past few months - but they'd never told him. Had anyone told James and Lily what was going on? Had they told Peter? Or had it been felt that it was safer to let Sirius endure what he could here alone? He was going to have to think about this later on, and about what it meant. But there was no time now.
"Right, good," he said quietly, steadying Sirius upright against the wall with one hand on his shoulder. He was examining a particularly crusted gash across the right side of Sirius's chest. "Let's start with this cut here."
He glanced up into Sirius's face, his lips pulling back in a brief sympathetic grimace: the light from the magical fire beside them glinted off teeth that were noticeably sharper than usual. "I'm going to have to decontaminate it first, I'm afraid. Tell me if you need a moment and I'll stop, all right?"
There was no need to warn Sirius that decontaminating an injury without using a numbing potion was painful - all of them had performed this procedure for one another at some point in the past couple of years.
As he set to work cleaning the area with a conjured cloth, he finally responded to Sirius's warning. "Yes, it looks like they know who we are," he agreed, looking studiously down at Sirius's chest rather than up into his face. "That's why they called me here in the first place. But I'm not leaving you here, whatever you think you can handle."
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no subject
He knew his guard should be up. However, it did feel good to be im a familiar presence, even knowing that it might get twisted into something awful at any point. As close as he was to the darkest pit of despair right now, even the smallest flicker of something that felt good resonated.
Remus's presence brought more warmth than that spell he had cast that illuminated the cell. "That bird with you looks rough, mate, don't tell me you're seeing her."
It was a tease, accompanied with a hint of a glint in his tired eyes. Humour brought him more strength than hope, he had none of that. "You can do better than that."
no subject
Well, now he was satisfied that Sirius was neither suffering from a brain injury nor acting under the influence of the Imperius Curse. He was intact and unharmed - well, unless you counted the fact that he was here, in a Death Eater's dungeon, in the process of being tortured for information.
"You haven't checked whether I am who you think I am," he pointed out, ignoring Sirius's suggestive comments about his companion for the moment. "Go on, ask me a personal question."
Not that he was about to wait for Sirius to be certain of his identity before invading his personal space. Kneeling down on the cold stone floor before his friend, he reached out to grab hold of one manacled wrist.
"Let me feel your pulse," he said. "What hurts the most right now?"
no subject
There, that was personal enough. Insider knowledge and the kind of memory that felt bittersweet. But then, there was no memory left these days that didn't have bitterness attached to him.
His eyes followed Remus's actions as he took his pulse, lips quirking up into a smile. Such a practical and caring thing to do. Such a Remus thing to do, in other words. He really had missed him. "I don't know. Everything hurts. I know you know the feeling."
He had witnessed his transformations a few times, after all. "I'm not going to break, Moony. They aren't-- It won't happen. So it's fine. It will be over one day."
no subject
Only then did his eyes flick back up, glancing briefly at Sirius's face before focusing back down on his wrist. Despite the gravity of the situation, a hint of a smile could be seen in the way the corners of his eyes crinkled.
"Whereupon," he concluded, "I selflessly took on the duty of cleaning up the mess by removing the chocolates to a place of safety, where they could put no one in danger..."
As he spoke, the pad of his thumb was gently massaging into the underside of Sirius's wrist, searching until it found a vein. His pronouncement trailed off as he took Sirius's pulse: for a solid thirty seconds he knelt still and silent, eyes unfocused, counting the number of beats. When he let Sirius's wrist go, placing it gently back on the ground, his expression still registered concern.
"I know you won't break," he said, now looking into the exhausted face before him again. "But your body will, sooner or later."
He shook his right arm, as if trying to regain the feeling in a limb that had fallen asleep; his wand slid smoothly down from inside his sleeve until it was resting in his hand.
"Right. Can you sit up a bit straighter for me? Rest your back against the wall. We should have enough time for me to clean up some of these bigger injuries, at least. Then, let's think about to get you out of here."
no subject
His eyes opened when Remus took a hold of his wrist and there was an uncertain frown. He wet his cracked lips and cleared his throat, doing what he could to force his tired mind to keep up with what was happening.
Sitting as straight as he managed, he looked up at Remus. "Careful, Moony. They know who you are. Who we are. They're not gonna... I don't want you in any more danger than you are already."
Was that selfish? It definitely was. "I can take what they do to me." He trailed off there, the implication clear. He didn't want to have to take them doing anything to Remus.
no subject
It occurred to him somewhere in the back of his mind that Dumbledore - or maybe several members of the Order - must have known what was happening to Sirius. And they hadn't told him. They'd had the ability to get in touch with him, even among the werewolves - he's been summoned by secret Order contact more than once in the past few months - but they'd never told him. Had anyone told James and Lily what was going on? Had they told Peter? Or had it been felt that it was safer to let Sirius endure what he could here alone? He was going to have to think about this later on, and about what it meant. But there was no time now.
"Right, good," he said quietly, steadying Sirius upright against the wall with one hand on his shoulder. He was examining a particularly crusted gash across the right side of Sirius's chest. "Let's start with this cut here."
He glanced up into Sirius's face, his lips pulling back in a brief sympathetic grimace: the light from the magical fire beside them glinted off teeth that were noticeably sharper than usual. "I'm going to have to decontaminate it first, I'm afraid. Tell me if you need a moment and I'll stop, all right?"
There was no need to warn Sirius that decontaminating an injury without using a numbing potion was painful - all of them had performed this procedure for one another at some point in the past couple of years.
As he set to work cleaning the area with a conjured cloth, he finally responded to Sirius's warning. "Yes, it looks like they know who we are," he agreed, looking studiously down at Sirius's chest rather than up into his face. "That's why they called me here in the first place. But I'm not leaving you here, whatever you think you can handle."