alwaysimpure

Bonds

It wouldn't be much of a party at the Gryffindor tower tonight, even though they had won against their fiercest rival. Slytherin defeated, but seeing how it had taken their star player out of commission when he collided with one of the Slytherin players, it was a tainted victory.

Besides, James and Sirius where the ones to lead such a party usually, getting butterbeer and snacks from the kitchen and praising each other. Now Sirius was worried and James still hadn't woken up. Sure, Pomfrey assured him that was perfectly normal and he was just getting necessary rest, but Sirius would still rather shake him awake to make sure.

Instead he sat on his bedside and watched his face, almost as pale as his own for a change. He picked James's glasses up from the nightstand and fixed them with a spell before putting them down again. "I don't think these work right, Prongs. You gotta move to the side before you crash into someone."

He did wonder whether James had been blocked on purpose. It hadn't helped, they had lost anyway, but it was a move pretty typical for the Slytherin's. Normally he'd be all over accusing the bloke, seeing as he was very much awake, albeit injured, and just a hospital bed away, but it wasn't that easy. Mostly, he was busying himself by not looking at him directly.

Regulus. Finally, seeing as James wasn't exactly engaging right now, he turned around to look at his brother.

"Does it hurt?" There, that was neutral enough.

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Regulus lifted his head, gray eyes slow to meet Sirius'. He'd been wondering how long they were going to pretend to ignore each other. He started to shrug, before answering, "Of course it hurts, you saw how high we fell from," he said, voice soft and measured. Speaking with Sirius felt a lot like speaking with an Aunt you only saw once every few years, and always left Regulus feeling like he should be standing up straighter. He was supposed to be the good one after all. And part of that meant acting as though Sirius had never lived with them all those years. It was easier said than done really.

"I was diving to catch you, but my broom wouldn't go fast enough." It was true, too. He wasn't exactly sure how he would have accomplished such a feat and who it was he wanted to catch, but the intent had been clear.

He looked at Regulus for a long while, trying to find traces of the little boy that had looked up to him, that hadn't wanted him to leave for Hogwarts for his first year, didn't want to be left behind at that dark, cold house. Seemed rather dark and cold himself these days, really.

"Whatcha got, Regulus?" Sirius got up and walked over to him, checking to see whether he could see what injuries he had. "You should try getting out of the way next time," he suggested, ever helpful.

Regulus' features didn't seem to know how to school themselves just then, and he surveyed his brother with a slight head tilt, not entirely sure if he believed him

He grew hot under Sirius' gaze, and shifted uncomfortably. He was better at reading him than Regulus would have liked.

"Broken arm and a concussion. So if I fall asleep, be a dear and bring the mediwitch back unless you want to be an only child again." He arched an eyebrow at his brother before return a soft, coy smile. "I wouldn't have thought."

Sirius smirked. "I don't remember much of being an only child. Seemed to involve a lot of pooping and crying, though." He had been around a year old when Regulus was born, after all. "But I'm pretty sure as far as our parents are concerned, you are the only child."

He inspected him, looked at his arm as if to check whether Madame Pomfrey had set it right. Of course she knew about a hundred times more than him about broken arms, but he just had to make sure anyway. "It's alright. Not everyone can be as smart as me."

It must have something to do with his friend being unconscious and Regulus's friends not being around, but that was pretty much the longest conversation they'd had this year. Sirius thought he should just leave it at that before they'd start to fight. "How're you doing otherwise?"

"...Right." That seemed to sober the younger Black up quickly, and that guarded look returned to his face. "...I'm sure...I'm sure they'd change their mind if you came back," he said as casually as he could manage.

"I'm fine." He wasn't, exactly, but this was the longest they'd managed to hold a conversation in ages. "Mother talks about you a lot." Screaming mostly.

"The best thing I've done in my life was leaving that place, Regulus." There was nothing casual about his intensity there. "Why can't you see..." He trailed off and rubbed the bridge of his nose, then snorted.

"Oh, I'm sure she does. Probably worried about me doing something even worse. Do you have to report to her regularly?" He shook his head and sat down on Regulus's bedside. "She cares more who I'm dating than I do. What about you, Regulus? Anyone I should know about?"

Regulus didn't look overly pleased with that answer, equating it to leaving him being the best thing. Obviously, he knew that wasn't why his brother had left, but when their parents got particularly bad he couldn't help but feel bitter over having been left behind. It wasn't his fault he did what he was told and Sirius didn't.

"She's more curious about your friends. She's entirely written the Potters off, ever since you left." His cheeks coloured again, just faintly, and he shook his head. "Not really, no."

No. Leaving Regulus behind might be the single regret he had about it all. Sirius wished he could have taken him with him. He still wished Regulus would come with him. Just not go back. Why did he have to be the obedient one? He never missed his parents, but he missed the feeling of having a brother. He missed being able to take care of his kid brother, hell, and pranking him by telling him that the sorting ceremony consisted of fighting a dragon.

"Why would she care about my friends? Peter's Peter and Remus is a half-blood. And you can assure her that the Potters can hardly contain themselves from joy." Sirius lowered his voice. "There'd be room for one more." He saw the blush and drew his conclusions with a smirk. "So, who is it? 'not really'. Complicated, huh?"

"She wants to know who to watch out. Essentially everyone you associate with goes in her bad books." This was nice, being able to talk without worrying that someone would see and he'd have to listen to a lecture about living up to the Black name. Or worse, a howler. But then Sirius gave that offer, and he recoiled instinctively. There was no way. He was the heir now, if he left...that was it for the family. "I don't think your friends like me anymore than the rest of your house."

He shook his head, "No really...there's not...there isn't anything to be complicated."

"I should advertise that in the Daily Prophet, wonder how many people would just love being spared those boring parties." There wasn't anyone from either of their houses around, so Regulus didn't have to worry about his mother, their mother, ever finding out he had actually had a civil conversation with his brother. "They'd like you just fine if they actually got to know you. You used to be a really funny bloke, too."

Sirius smirked, then shrugged. "I could set you up with someone, if you'd like. No one'd have to know."

Regulus smiled, but shook his head softly. Mother would kill him if he even considered it. "Still am," he corrected, "I just don't have you around to blame any more."

"I'm not sure I'd want to subject anyone to earning mother's approval. And I doubt you know any suitable Slytherin girls."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "You could still try blaming it on my bad influence?" He did feel guilt for leaving his brother behind. Maybe if he hadn't, there'd still be a chance...

"Why not? Y'think you snakes are somehow immune to my charm?" He smirked. "I might even know some Slytherin girls that aren't complete bitches."

"Getting a bit too old for that, don't you think?"

He shook his head again. It was one area where he felt it would be better to defer to his mother's judgement. He didn't feel the same need to chase after the girls as the other boys his age seemed to.

"I thought one is never too old to hide behind their big brother."

Sirius sighed and leaned back, resting his hands on the mattress. It wasn't as if... But maybe if he could set Regulus up with a nice girl... "I'd just rather your girlfriend's a nice one, since you insist on being friends with such scum."

Hey, it had been civil up till now?

"Maybe not." That almost smile was back again.

And then Sirius had to go an ruin it. His eyes narrowed, and his expression became more guarded than ever.

"Well that was pleasant. Lets do it again in a few years, shall we?"

Damn it. It hurt to see the hint of a smile vanish, watch Regulus build up the wall again. He still remembered the boy who had come to sleep in his room with him when he was scared for some reason.

Sirius cursed his temper and wished he had a shoulder angel to hold him back. Well, Remus usually sufficed, but he wasn't here right now.

Since it was too late, anyway, he might as well get it all out. "Sorry, Regulus, but you know what they are. Do you agree with that? As if blood purity matters." Who was he asking that? Of course he agreed. He was a fit heir, after all.

"It does matter. Do you know what the muggles are capable of Sirius? All you do is play around with their things, do you really know anything about how dangerous they are?" Regulus didn't mind the mixing of blood like his parents did, but each of the people was a link to that word, another risk, that could out them to the people who could wipe out millions before a wizard could even draw his wand.

"And you think the best way to keep them from being dangerous to us is going out and hunting them down? Y'think it will stop at just keeping us separate? Not that it's bloody possible, we live in the same world and there are only so many 'pure' wizard families. Have you heard about inbreeding? You should have, we're a product of it." Sirius was kind of gratified that his brother at least had a somewhat more logical reasoning.

"No, but I think it's something we should be talking about, and he's the only one that dares to broach the subject. Mother and Father approve of him. They think I should join once I've finished school."

He shot Sirius a look. "Would you rather we'd not been born? We owe our line our lives."

"Of course I'd not rather not been born, but I'd rather the in-breeding doesn't continue."

Sirius rubbed his temples and shook his head.

"There should be less ignorance about muggles, but just separating entirely isn't an option. It's not possible. We're the same, that's why wizards are born to muggle families. And he doesn't actually care about any such thing. He's just after power, like every other megalomaniac. He likes torturing, forcing, killing. What kind of society do you want, one built on Unforgivables?"

He caught Regulus's eyes and got up.

"Grow a spine and think for yourself, Black."

"I'm not the immature brat who ran away from home," Regulus snapped, Sirius' final comment biting too deep.

"I had reasons. It worked out well for you, didn't it?" Sirius was getting heated again. Where was that shoulder angel? "Now you get all the love our parents are capable of!"

Regulus snorted, rolling his eyes, things he didn't generally do outside of his brother's company.

"Right. You left and suddenly they became the perfect parents."

"I was being sarcastic. I guess you lost your ability to recognize sarcasm when you gave up your sense of humor." Sirius shook his head. "They don't have any power over me anymore. It's not that hard, Regulus. It's not as if I'd not help you."

"They're family, Sirius. You don't just turn your back on your family." It could be argued that they had turned their back on Sirius, but in Regulus' mind, Sirius had been the one to turn his back first.

Sirius stared at Regulus and wondered whether he could make him understand. "I've not turned my back on you, Reg. But they're not family. There's no love there, they just need us to continue the line." He shook his head. "No one should feel bad for turning away from parents who use Unforgivables on their children."

Regulus shifted uncomfortablly, gaze falling away. It was hard to argue with that. "...I'm not like you Sirius. I can't just leave."

Weak, Sirius though, but for once he did hold back. For once, he even looked away to make sure his eyes wouldn't show it. He took a deep breath and then turned to Regulus again. "If you ever want to... If you ever need anything, Reg, even just want to talk... I'm not turning away from you." He looked at Regulus's arms, not because it was broken, but because suddenly he could practically see the mark there. "If you can't do what you do want to, at least... At least don't do anything you don't want to."

"..." Regulus bowed his head, fingers curling and then unfurling again. "...I know Siri," he conceeded finally, falling back on an old boyhood nickname. "I know."

"Heh." He hated when anyone called him Siri, but it was different with Regulus. Because he could remember a time when he had used it because saying his whole name had actually been too hard for him. "Just. Keep it in mind."

Sirius turned away and walked up to James's bed, giving it a nudge with one foot. "You gotta wake up, Prongs. Getting bored here."

Regulus nodded, settling back into the hospital bed, gaze trailing after his brother a moment before finally falling away.

I thought about PMing you at first, but then remembered this is my journal, so what the hell. ;)

I got lots of ideas, from playing with that Nott and Regulus idea to Regulus finding out Remus is a werewolf and/or Sirius's boyfriend to, as you said, backstory and flashbacks. ^^

Depends what you want, really, can do anything from brotherly bonding over a prank at a dinner party to major angst and use of crucio or imperius on children...

Ooh, ooh I love all of those. We should do all of them eventually. Um...my fav. atm is Nott or childhood angsty

We should, we should, and a million more! Any way you'd prefer for Nott stuff to go? As for the childhood angsty, I imagined maybe something like Regulus overhearing/watching but not daring to interrupt, but kind of trying to take care of him afterwards, or something?

Um...um...I'm not sure actually :< Him learning that they suck might be good...But...ah, brain dead.

And aww, yes. <3 he'd take good care of you big bro.

Nott hitting on him? xD

Fair warning, I don't know how grateful Sirius would be, at least at first, if Regulus finds him hurt and what not. He has too much pride. xD

Want to set up Regulus overhearing/seeing something?

^_^ lol, yes.

Sure. What age range were you thinking?

Anything in Hogwarts, well, Sirius in Hogwarts already, other than that, I'm not that particular. ^^

So, between 11 and 16, pretty much. ^^

There we go

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Awww ;__;

i know <.< another thread is needed!

Indeed! Ideas? Backstorys? Flashbacks? <3

This is an OOC message!

This is also an OOC message!

And another of these OOC messages!

ALL the OOC messages!

Yes! Messages that are OOC!

oocOOCooc!

so out of character, we get into character again!

Re: so out of character, we get into character again!